Thursday, May 04, 2006
so far past sad, I'm crazy and scary
that wasnt nearly as hard the second time around. i guess i actually kinda learned stuff the first time.
next time. prieee. i promise.
Ryan Adams is a bitch and I fucking love him.
heres a few of his rants from this week, in response to a review of his performance in seattle last week.
they make me really happy im going to lollapalooza, i guess.
as posted on ryanadams.org. the worst fan site in the history of such
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:36:38 AM
I FUCKING HAVE NEVER PRETENDED BE ANYTHING BUT MYSELF.....ABYSMAL....FUCK YOU. YOU WRITE DONT GET SENTIMENTAL..YOU FUCKING BE YOUR...SELF ON STQAGE AND NOT SOME ROCK STAR FUCLL OF SHIT ASSFACE.
FUCK THE NORTHWEST.
IM NOT TOURING THE STATES AFTER LOLAPALOOZA.
I DONT NEED THE ABUSE.AND I MAKE PLENTY OF HEADWAY WITH PEOPLE RAISED WITH MORE CULTURE THAN T.V. AND SUBMITTTED FAN EMAILS SAYING FOOD POISONING IS BETTER THAN A GIG WHEN I PLAY FOR YOU FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS.
HOW DARE YOU.....
WANNA SEE ME PLAY.
COME TO SOMEPLACE IN EUROPE.
FUCK THE HATERS.
FUCK THE SEATLLE PRESS YOU ASSHOLES. FUCK YOU LYING RETARD WITH YOUR NO ONE FOR ASKED FOR AN ENCORE.
LYING FUCKING ASSHOLE.
................
YOU KNOW WHAT I DONT HAVE TO DO THIS HERE ANYMORE.
JAMIE CULLUM ITS ALL YOURS.
MAY YOUR FUCKING ROCK PERSONALITIES BE AS BORING AS YOUR FUCKING MUNDANE OFFICE LIVES,
KISS MY ASS.
GLAD TO GET HOME TO NYC TO SEE HOW TOLERANT OF PEOPLE BEING DIFFERENT AND SPECIAL AND THEMSELVES AND WERID AND INTERESTING THE COUNTRY IS.
FUCK IT.
CYA
---
---
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:38:52 AM
SEATTLE TIMES DONT BE SUPRISED TO GET A C.D. OF THE SHOW WITH A FULL SET LIST AND THE STAGE TIMES AND SONG LIST. ITS WAS OVER- CURFEW BOTH NIGHTS AND I PLAYED LONGER THAN I WAS SUPPOSEED TO DUE TO THE DEMANDS OF AN EXCITED AUDIENCE.
SO MUCH FOR CREDABILITY.
GET A LIFE/ JOB A PAGE SIX YOU FUCK HEADS
---
---
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:58:19 AM
IT DOESN'T SELL THE PAPER UNLESS YOU PAINT ME AS A DRUNK, AS A FUCKING IDIOT.
I WILL NEVER PLAY THERE AGAIN.
ERNEST HEMMINGWAY - DRINKER
WILLIAM FAULKER - DRINKER
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD - DRINKER
DOROTHY PARKER - DRINKER
MILES DAVIS- DRUG USER
THE ROLLING STONES- SELF EXPLANATORY
JAMES BLUNT- SOAP USER
KELLY CLARKSON - .COM
RYAN ADAMS- WORKAHOLIC DRINKER DRUG USER LIFE LIVER FUCKING HAPPY FUCKING SAD FUCKING REAL AND FUCKING TIRED OF YOU TALENTLESS HACKS WITH A LAPTOP "REWRITING" HISTORY. ALSO, CORTIZONE AND HEATEING CREAM WRIST USER.
SEATTLE TIMES WRITERS- 50 BUCKS AN ARTICLE. GOT A "DUDE" WHO HAD EMAIL TO WRITE IT FOR HIM.
PORTLAND TIMES- UM... NOBODY READS THE PORTLAND TIMES, THEY'RE BUSY ENJOYING PORTLAND.
FRANCIS FARMER- HAVE AT IT.
ONE LAST THING.....YOU HATEFUL PEOPLE WHO QARE LOOKING FOR PERFECTION AND FUCKING STERILIZED ART, YOU DONT DESERVE ME.
JAMES THINKS YOURE BEAUTIFUL. GO SEE HIS CLEAN ASS.
ANYONE INTERESTED IN WHAT THE SHOWS WERE ACTUALLY LIKE FEEL FREE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVE STREAM ON YR. COMPUTER.
GOODBYE.
I GUESS ILL SEE YOU IN CHICAGO WHERE THIS SHIR STARTED.
I HAVE A GREAT NEW SONG JUST FOR THAT SHOW.
ITS THE CHORD OF A FOR THE EXACT TIME MY CONTRACT DEMANDS.
-......a couple days, and downers no doubt, later-
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 5/3/2006 9:33:40 PM
OK. [So maybe I lost my head there for a second.] I always have the best intentions when it comes to playing music and I suppose I get lost sometimes along the way. The last thing I want to do is cheat anybody out of anything. I am just trying to connect on some sort of level that means as much to me as it does you. And while you're paying, I'm playing and we both have to, ya know, "deal" . I think sometimes I want to make everybody feel like they are at home in the venue and not to panic or freak out and let things take shape because I AM freaking out a little. I have a bit of stage fright but I promise you this I have not and did not take to the stage drunk on the european or the U.S. tour. It's impossible. I can't function playing guitar drunk. My wrist won't work that way. I learned that lesson. This is TRUE. I have A (one) glass of wine on my way into the wings and two or three thousand cigarettes before. I wait until my hands stop shaking and I dive in. Sometimes you guys are a tough lot to charm but I so want to communicate this strange thing I have in writing and playing this music that I'm willing to forego being terrified enough to get out there and see what I am capable of. It's all I know. I have been alone trying this since I was 15 and I am no different now than I was then. At least in the way I see myself not trying to do anything but be funny, be real, be anything but boring. I know I lose some of the audience in the slapschitck parts but whatever. There are plenty of canned food artists out there for them. I want to be in the moment and I want to take chances and I want to see if I can find that magic moment even I didn't know was possible. That leads to some pretty embarasssing dead ends. But once in awhile, goddamn if I can't feel my own heart beat for a second and some of that pain goes away and I am just in the zone. In the place I was the first time I felt comfortable in my own skin, playing and singing and sharing something that was gone as soon as the music stopped.
So these risks, these shows, or rather, tours without the same set list every night esp. the solo ones, they really push the envelope but I dont feel like Ill grow or youll get anything but sterile crap unless I try and take it further. And listen, I am. I am trying my ass off.
So If I disappointed some of you, I am so sorry. That lets me down too. And if I took a few songs further out, maybe put a few smiles on a few faces or made somebody move along to the story, then I am glad. The rabbit doesnt always come out of the hat unfortunately but one day when we are far from grandmas backyard and theres not a bedsheet for a curtain and I actually get my own cape, maybe it will ALWAYS be magic.
Until then, Im just human, and I have my faults. Im a bit nervous at solo shows and I am getting alittle better as I go. Maybe I talk a bit too much when Im nervous but its nerves not drinks that makes me want to feel like there isnjt any reason to be scared. And as far as the green goes, well, ask Bill Hicks about that one. Thats just self respect.
I am humbled by your loyalty and hurt when you feel let down but I have nothing but respect for those that have taken the ride with me.
I regret my freakout. I fully intend to take my website back and own it privately and stream shows when I can and print set lists so people can check in and see whats happening out there on the road.
I will say this.
There were some out of hand things said about those shows in certain publications that were outright lies. The setlists and UNION CURFEWS prevent me from playing any later than they allow without house lights coming up in theaters. But you get to sit down and be cozy and nobody wants to stand for an hour and a half at a solo show with some sad weird bastard moaning about this and whinging about that in c minor. I will print the set lists , the time I hit stage, and the time I left stage for each of the last four shows for everyone to see for themselves. Prehaps I will print the unclaimed comp tickets from two of the shows where I got flamed and yet they could not mention one song or album of which I played a song from.
Either way I am taking accountability for my part of this exchange, this live solo show setting.
It would be nice to see local journalists do the same and not do articles on what my hair looks like or who choose to fuck which is none of their buisness. The lack of writing about the music at my shows matches the time it takes me to start a fucking song it seems. lose lose if you ask me. dont ask them. they dont got to like anything for a living. i dont blame them reaqlly. i confound myself on a daily basis. you should see some of the shit i manage the put into my eggs. not even omlettes. just mashed eggs.
With all due respect, I appreciate everyone who took their chances, took their seats, and came along for the ride.
Im trying but Im not always good and never advertise anything but my flaws./ Im just looking for the beauty in them and in all this I guess.
Thank You for Participating and I hope to look back one day and be nothing but proud, proud and on top of a martini cloud watching the fireworks.
Yours Truly,
Ryan.
love u guys and hope the salad days of summer cqarry you someplace pretty and safe on a blueberry breeze.
stay sweet.
---------------------------------------------------------
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
but at the same time the shit makes me really sad. while its beyond presumptious of adams to include himself in a list like the one he did, it is true that all too often the best artists are fucking nuts and beyond self destructive.
sad
the story of how i came to be a fan of his is far more interesting than others ive told.
near the end of the summer of 2002 i went to see a Ben Kweller show at the Roxy here in Los Angeles. I happened to have an extra ticket because i had bought two and then been given two by ATO, but only found one other person to go after finding out I'd have four. The show was sold out because BK is all sorts of awesome. As i was turning away from the ticket window i noticed a father and his young son standing at the curb looking sad. Turns out they'd seen Ben on Leno or something the night before and had come out hoping thered be tickets available. I gave them my extra and wished them luck in finding one more. An hour or so later I was sitting on the edge of the stage waiting for the show to start when the guy comes toward me with a big smile on his face saying theyd found someone looking to sell just one ticket! He thanked me profusely and then asked me to wait just one second, he wanted to give me something. I told him over and over a drink would be fine (I was 19 and couldnt buy my own, or so i thought) but he insisted on running out to his car. He came back with three burned cds. His son protested. Dad told him to shut up, they could burn another copy of each.
I thanked him and glanced at what hed handed me. I only recognized one name. They were copies of Ryan Adams - Gold, Beulah - The Coast is Never Clear, and Chris Isaak - Greatest Hits.
If i could see that guy now id give him a giant bear hug. When I have kids I imagine things being quite similar.
Besides Ryan and Beulah, I also "discovered" My Morning Jacket that night. They opened and were amazing.
At the after party I ordered drinks at a bar for the first time and bumped into Kirsten Dunst while dancing
That was an awesome night.
So anyway... I listened to Gold the next day and loved it. Not immediately. I recognized New York, New York from its video being played incessently, but it took some growing. Then i listened to Heartbreaker, and I was done. This giant whiny bastard tool bag had won me over.
heres hoping he dosent kill himself via drug overdose anytime soon
Bedhead vol.1
Bedhead Vol.2
Bedhead Vol.3 Live Rock n Roll
Bedhead Vol.4 After the Fall
Bedhead Vol.5 What Will Happen Next?
more ryan on the morrow
i looked and wasnt able to find a tracklisting of all these in one place anywhere, so i think ill throw something together tonight.
by the way...Kweller is fresh out of the studio and should have a new one out before the year is
I hope its more like Sha Sha than it is like On My Way
BK BABY!
next time. prieee. i promise.
Ryan Adams is a bitch and I fucking love him.
heres a few of his rants from this week, in response to a review of his performance in seattle last week.
they make me really happy im going to lollapalooza, i guess.
as posted on ryanadams.org. the worst fan site in the history of such
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:36:38 AM
I FUCKING HAVE NEVER PRETENDED BE ANYTHING BUT MYSELF.....ABYSMAL....FUCK YOU. YOU WRITE DONT GET SENTIMENTAL..YOU FUCKING BE YOUR...SELF ON STQAGE AND NOT SOME ROCK STAR FUCLL OF SHIT ASSFACE.
FUCK THE NORTHWEST.
IM NOT TOURING THE STATES AFTER LOLAPALOOZA.
I DONT NEED THE ABUSE.AND I MAKE PLENTY OF HEADWAY WITH PEOPLE RAISED WITH MORE CULTURE THAN T.V. AND SUBMITTTED FAN EMAILS SAYING FOOD POISONING IS BETTER THAN A GIG WHEN I PLAY FOR YOU FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS.
HOW DARE YOU.....
WANNA SEE ME PLAY.
COME TO SOMEPLACE IN EUROPE.
FUCK THE HATERS.
FUCK THE SEATLLE PRESS YOU ASSHOLES. FUCK YOU LYING RETARD WITH YOUR NO ONE FOR ASKED FOR AN ENCORE.
LYING FUCKING ASSHOLE.
................
YOU KNOW WHAT I DONT HAVE TO DO THIS HERE ANYMORE.
JAMIE CULLUM ITS ALL YOURS.
MAY YOUR FUCKING ROCK PERSONALITIES BE AS BORING AS YOUR FUCKING MUNDANE OFFICE LIVES,
KISS MY ASS.
GLAD TO GET HOME TO NYC TO SEE HOW TOLERANT OF PEOPLE BEING DIFFERENT AND SPECIAL AND THEMSELVES AND WERID AND INTERESTING THE COUNTRY IS.
FUCK IT.
CYA
---
---
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:38:52 AM
SEATTLE TIMES DONT BE SUPRISED TO GET A C.D. OF THE SHOW WITH A FULL SET LIST AND THE STAGE TIMES AND SONG LIST. ITS WAS OVER- CURFEW BOTH NIGHTS AND I PLAYED LONGER THAN I WAS SUPPOSEED TO DUE TO THE DEMANDS OF AN EXCITED AUDIENCE.
SO MUCH FOR CREDABILITY.
GET A LIFE/ JOB A PAGE SIX YOU FUCK HEADS
---
---
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 4/30/2006 8:58:19 AM
IT DOESN'T SELL THE PAPER UNLESS YOU PAINT ME AS A DRUNK, AS A FUCKING IDIOT.
I WILL NEVER PLAY THERE AGAIN.
ERNEST HEMMINGWAY - DRINKER
WILLIAM FAULKER - DRINKER
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD - DRINKER
DOROTHY PARKER - DRINKER
MILES DAVIS- DRUG USER
THE ROLLING STONES- SELF EXPLANATORY
JAMES BLUNT- SOAP USER
KELLY CLARKSON - .COM
RYAN ADAMS- WORKAHOLIC DRINKER DRUG USER LIFE LIVER FUCKING HAPPY FUCKING SAD FUCKING REAL AND FUCKING TIRED OF YOU TALENTLESS HACKS WITH A LAPTOP "REWRITING" HISTORY. ALSO, CORTIZONE AND HEATEING CREAM WRIST USER.
SEATTLE TIMES WRITERS- 50 BUCKS AN ARTICLE. GOT A "DUDE" WHO HAD EMAIL TO WRITE IT FOR HIM.
PORTLAND TIMES- UM... NOBODY READS THE PORTLAND TIMES, THEY'RE BUSY ENJOYING PORTLAND.
FRANCIS FARMER- HAVE AT IT.
ONE LAST THING.....YOU HATEFUL PEOPLE WHO QARE LOOKING FOR PERFECTION AND FUCKING STERILIZED ART, YOU DONT DESERVE ME.
JAMES THINKS YOURE BEAUTIFUL. GO SEE HIS CLEAN ASS.
ANYONE INTERESTED IN WHAT THE SHOWS WERE ACTUALLY LIKE FEEL FREE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVE STREAM ON YR. COMPUTER.
GOODBYE.
I GUESS ILL SEE YOU IN CHICAGO WHERE THIS SHIR STARTED.
I HAVE A GREAT NEW SONG JUST FOR THAT SHOW.
ITS THE CHORD OF A FOR THE EXACT TIME MY CONTRACT DEMANDS.
-......a couple days, and downers no doubt, later-
Author: WHATEVER ITS RYAN 5/3/2006 9:33:40 PM
OK. [So maybe I lost my head there for a second.] I always have the best intentions when it comes to playing music and I suppose I get lost sometimes along the way. The last thing I want to do is cheat anybody out of anything. I am just trying to connect on some sort of level that means as much to me as it does you. And while you're paying, I'm playing and we both have to, ya know, "deal" . I think sometimes I want to make everybody feel like they are at home in the venue and not to panic or freak out and let things take shape because I AM freaking out a little. I have a bit of stage fright but I promise you this I have not and did not take to the stage drunk on the european or the U.S. tour. It's impossible. I can't function playing guitar drunk. My wrist won't work that way. I learned that lesson. This is TRUE. I have A (one) glass of wine on my way into the wings and two or three thousand cigarettes before. I wait until my hands stop shaking and I dive in. Sometimes you guys are a tough lot to charm but I so want to communicate this strange thing I have in writing and playing this music that I'm willing to forego being terrified enough to get out there and see what I am capable of. It's all I know. I have been alone trying this since I was 15 and I am no different now than I was then. At least in the way I see myself not trying to do anything but be funny, be real, be anything but boring. I know I lose some of the audience in the slapschitck parts but whatever. There are plenty of canned food artists out there for them. I want to be in the moment and I want to take chances and I want to see if I can find that magic moment even I didn't know was possible. That leads to some pretty embarasssing dead ends. But once in awhile, goddamn if I can't feel my own heart beat for a second and some of that pain goes away and I am just in the zone. In the place I was the first time I felt comfortable in my own skin, playing and singing and sharing something that was gone as soon as the music stopped.
So these risks, these shows, or rather, tours without the same set list every night esp. the solo ones, they really push the envelope but I dont feel like Ill grow or youll get anything but sterile crap unless I try and take it further. And listen, I am. I am trying my ass off.
So If I disappointed some of you, I am so sorry. That lets me down too. And if I took a few songs further out, maybe put a few smiles on a few faces or made somebody move along to the story, then I am glad. The rabbit doesnt always come out of the hat unfortunately but one day when we are far from grandmas backyard and theres not a bedsheet for a curtain and I actually get my own cape, maybe it will ALWAYS be magic.
Until then, Im just human, and I have my faults. Im a bit nervous at solo shows and I am getting alittle better as I go. Maybe I talk a bit too much when Im nervous but its nerves not drinks that makes me want to feel like there isnjt any reason to be scared. And as far as the green goes, well, ask Bill Hicks about that one. Thats just self respect.
I am humbled by your loyalty and hurt when you feel let down but I have nothing but respect for those that have taken the ride with me.
I regret my freakout. I fully intend to take my website back and own it privately and stream shows when I can and print set lists so people can check in and see whats happening out there on the road.
I will say this.
There were some out of hand things said about those shows in certain publications that were outright lies. The setlists and UNION CURFEWS prevent me from playing any later than they allow without house lights coming up in theaters. But you get to sit down and be cozy and nobody wants to stand for an hour and a half at a solo show with some sad weird bastard moaning about this and whinging about that in c minor. I will print the set lists , the time I hit stage, and the time I left stage for each of the last four shows for everyone to see for themselves. Prehaps I will print the unclaimed comp tickets from two of the shows where I got flamed and yet they could not mention one song or album of which I played a song from.
Either way I am taking accountability for my part of this exchange, this live solo show setting.
It would be nice to see local journalists do the same and not do articles on what my hair looks like or who choose to fuck which is none of their buisness. The lack of writing about the music at my shows matches the time it takes me to start a fucking song it seems. lose lose if you ask me. dont ask them. they dont got to like anything for a living. i dont blame them reaqlly. i confound myself on a daily basis. you should see some of the shit i manage the put into my eggs. not even omlettes. just mashed eggs.
With all due respect, I appreciate everyone who took their chances, took their seats, and came along for the ride.
Im trying but Im not always good and never advertise anything but my flaws./ Im just looking for the beauty in them and in all this I guess.
Thank You for Participating and I hope to look back one day and be nothing but proud, proud and on top of a martini cloud watching the fireworks.
Yours Truly,
Ryan.
love u guys and hope the salad days of summer cqarry you someplace pretty and safe on a blueberry breeze.
stay sweet.
---------------------------------------------------------
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
but at the same time the shit makes me really sad. while its beyond presumptious of adams to include himself in a list like the one he did, it is true that all too often the best artists are fucking nuts and beyond self destructive.
sad
the story of how i came to be a fan of his is far more interesting than others ive told.
near the end of the summer of 2002 i went to see a Ben Kweller show at the Roxy here in Los Angeles. I happened to have an extra ticket because i had bought two and then been given two by ATO, but only found one other person to go after finding out I'd have four. The show was sold out because BK is all sorts of awesome. As i was turning away from the ticket window i noticed a father and his young son standing at the curb looking sad. Turns out they'd seen Ben on Leno or something the night before and had come out hoping thered be tickets available. I gave them my extra and wished them luck in finding one more. An hour or so later I was sitting on the edge of the stage waiting for the show to start when the guy comes toward me with a big smile on his face saying theyd found someone looking to sell just one ticket! He thanked me profusely and then asked me to wait just one second, he wanted to give me something. I told him over and over a drink would be fine (I was 19 and couldnt buy my own, or so i thought) but he insisted on running out to his car. He came back with three burned cds. His son protested. Dad told him to shut up, they could burn another copy of each.
I thanked him and glanced at what hed handed me. I only recognized one name. They were copies of Ryan Adams - Gold, Beulah - The Coast is Never Clear, and Chris Isaak - Greatest Hits.
If i could see that guy now id give him a giant bear hug. When I have kids I imagine things being quite similar.
Besides Ryan and Beulah, I also "discovered" My Morning Jacket that night. They opened and were amazing.
At the after party I ordered drinks at a bar for the first time and bumped into Kirsten Dunst while dancing
That was an awesome night.
So anyway... I listened to Gold the next day and loved it. Not immediately. I recognized New York, New York from its video being played incessently, but it took some growing. Then i listened to Heartbreaker, and I was done. This giant whiny bastard tool bag had won me over.
heres hoping he dosent kill himself via drug overdose anytime soon
Bedhead vol.1
Bedhead Vol.2
Bedhead Vol.3 Live Rock n Roll
Bedhead Vol.4 After the Fall
Bedhead Vol.5 What Will Happen Next?
more ryan on the morrow
i looked and wasnt able to find a tracklisting of all these in one place anywhere, so i think ill throw something together tonight.
by the way...Kweller is fresh out of the studio and should have a new one out before the year is
I hope its more like Sha Sha than it is like On My Way
BK BABY!
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